The Expensive Truth About Relationship Anxiety/OCD
Okay, it's time for some real talk about money. Now, what does money have to do with relationship anxiety/OCD? I'll break it down for you. For many of us, when we think about spending money, we think about it in the short-term.
“If I’m not paying for therapy and professional support for my ROCD, I’m saving money.” And at the surface, yes, that seems very true. But what we often forget to look at is the long-term cost of NOT investing in your healing. If relationship anxiety/OCD wants to prevent you from experiencing pain and hurt by being in a relationship, then its goal is to get you to LEAVE in order to feel safe. That’s what relationship anxiety/OCD always says when you and your partner get into a disagreement. “You have to leave.” That’s what it says when your partner has different interests and viewpoints. “You’re not compatible, you have to leave.” No matter what the thought or trigger is, ROCD’s response is survival.
It wants OUT.
So when Relationship Anxiety/OCD goes unchecked, it will get louder and stronger until it finally convinces you that you MUST leave in order to escape these incessant thoughts, doubts, and fears. What’s the cost of leaving your committed relationship?
Moving costs
Paying separate expenses instead of sharing the bills
Divorce lawyers
Therapy for AFTER the separation
Thaaaat’s pretty damn expensive. Not to mention the emotional pain of splitting up.
Another way that Relationship anxiety/OCD gets expensive is by how it impacts your health.
When your body is chronically experiencing anxiety and stress, a HUGE amount of cortisol is pumping through your body. Too much cortisol suppresses the immune system. It impacts sleep, which further suppresses the immune system. Having a compromised immune system leads to getting sick more easily. Anxiety is also linked to gut issues, which are VERY expensive to deal with...trust me. I had thousands of dollars in medical bills after having a sudden GI infection. Not to mention it was painful as HELL.
Relationship Anxiety/OCD also impacts our work performance.
I remember when I was at the height of my relationship anxiety, having to run to the bathroom at work to cry because someone said something in the lunchroom about a breakup. It was hard for me to be fully present because I was often just trying to keep myself from breaking down. When we’re so consumed by anxious thoughts, it’s hard to focus and put our best foot forward at work. So your performance may suffer. That means missing out on promotions, missing days because you're afraid of panicking in the middle of work, or even being too fearful to start your own successful business!
But when you take the brave step of INVESTING in your healing, the dividends are endless!
You can experience a healthy, thriving relationship and create a culture of love for your children! You can sleep better, feel more energized, and not put your body through so much stress. You can show up to work (or your business) with focus, drive, confidence, and motivation and MAKE THAT MONAY! Healing is not a cost or an expense, it truly is an investment that is so worth it and the return on investment lasts a lifetime. Money is simply the tool we use to create the life we desire. If we hold onto it from a place of scarcity, we will always feel like we never have enough. But if we can trust the money comes and goes, like the air we breathe, then we can utilize it for what we TRULY want. If you don’t invest in your healing, you’ll likely be spending that money in ways you DON’T want to down the road. You deserve to feel free. You deserve to have a thriving relationship that you feel SOLID in. You deserve to experience health, love, and abundance. In the empowering words of Jen Sincero “If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.”
― Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass