How to Deal with FOMO in Your Long-Term Relationship (5 Strategies)
Last month on the Healing Embodied blog, we dove into all the ways FOMO can affect relationships (even healthy and loving ones). But what are we supposed to actually do when FOMO strikes?
Should we just push it away? Pretend it isn’t there? Force ourselves to feel present?
Should we listen to those doubting voices and let them control our decisions?
Many of us try these approaches (trust me, we’ve been there too!), but they don’t usually work. FOMO can lead to breakup urges, intense avoidance, and constant anxiety, but the solution isn’t to run and hide…
…because pushing fear and doubt away tends to make those emotions grow. The more we avoid our fear, the more trapped we feel under its weight. That’s why it’s so important to explore how, when, and why our emotions show up in our bodies. Then, we can move through them, let them run their course, and find our way into more freedom and confidence — not just in our relationships, but in ourselves.
To learn more about how embodiment can serve as a liberating gateway to presence and trust in your relationship, check out our Healing Embodied services or apply for a free clarity call.
For a glimpse into some practical strategies for dealing with FOMO in the here and now, keep reading.
5 Ways to Cope with FOMO in Relationships
Give yourself permission to grieve unlived lives
Here’s the thing: There’s actually nothing wrong with the fear of missing out. It’s a totally natural human emotion that everyone experiences.
Mainstream cultural messaging might tell us we should never feel FOMO in our relationships, but that doesn’t make it true. If you’re struggling with the feeling that you might be missing out on something as a result of being in your relationship, it’s okay and safe to let yourself feel that way — and it doesn’t have to “mean” anything else. It just means you’re feeling afraid.
It’s okay to feel bummed about “missing out” on certain aspects of life or to wonder what might have been if you had followed a different path. These are completely natural things to feel and think as a human being navigating relationships. We only get to choose one path and one life, so of course we’ll wonder sometimes if we made all the “best” choices — and there’s nothing wrong with us for having those thoughts.
So, before focusing on how to overcome FOMO, practice acknowledging the parts of you that are afraid or doubtful, and give them space to feel.
Approach Reddit, Instagram, and other social media with caution
When we’re stuck in FOMO mode, we convince ourselves we’d be having more fun, better sex, better conversations, and generally feeling more in love if we were with someone else. Or, depending on the nature of our fear, we might worry we’re missing out on the adventurous freedom of the single life.
These fears are compounded when we get on social media and see thousands of photos and videos of other people living their “best lives” or other couples looking “perfect” and madly in love.
But social media only shows us the highlights, and compulsively searching through sites like Reddit for answers doesn’t help us cultivate true stability when we feel afraid. While compulsive searching and reassurance-seeking can sometimes provide temporary relief, these strategies don’t help us move through the emotions that need our attention.
Cultivate self-trust
The single most powerful thing you can do to experience less fear and doubt in your relationship (and in your life) is practicing the skill of self-trust.
Trusting ourselves and our decisions is the key to shifting our mindset away from “what if this is all wrong?” to “I believe in my choice, even when doubts and fears arise.”
But self-trust isn’t about never doubting ourselves. It’s about trusting ourselves to navigate whatever might come our way. While practicing this skill can feel very foreign and uncomfortable at first, self-trust helps us build resilience in the face of the natural doubts and uncertainties that arise in any healthy relationship.
Practice leaning into your choice to be with your partner
While it can feel extremely challenging, especially when we’re already experiencing doubt, leaning into our partnerships despite feeling uncertain can help alleviate the fear of missing out.
When you’re one foot in, one foot out, you’re not present enough to actually enjoy and experience true pleasure and connection in your relationship. Even though we think we’re keeping ourselves safe by not leaning all the way in, we’re actually making it even harder for ourselves to feel the way we want to feel.
Committing to our choices increases our capacity to enjoy and thrive within those choices.
Seek support from people who can help
Coping with FOMO on your own is possible, but seeking outside support can help you shift away from the constant “what ifs.”
For anyone struggling with persistent anxiety due to relationship doubts, seeking support from a trained therapist experienced with relationship anxiety and OCD is highly recommended. A relationship anxiety specialist (especially one with embodiment training, like our team at Healing Embodied) can help you get to the root of your fears and cultivate lasting trust in both yourself and your relationship.
Choose Love Over FOMO
At Healing Embodied, our programs, courses, workshops, and guides are specifically designed for people who experience persistent doubt and fear in their relationships. If you’re ready to cultivate deeper trust and confidence in your relationship and in yourself, we can help.
Using embodiment, creative expression, and somatic therapy, we help you safely and lovingly befriend your emotions so you can move away from constant questioning and doubt and start actively choosing love and presence with your partner.
If you think our resources could be supportive for you, apply for a free clarity call to learn more about our offerings or check out our self-paced courses and live programs on our services page.